Cyberbullying:
Dealing with cyberbullying
With the advent of technology, bullying is no longer limited to schoolyards or street corners. Cyberbullying can occur anywhere, even at home, through email, texts, cellular phones or social media websites. For those who suffer cyberbullying, the effects can be devastating, leaving you feeling hurt, humiliated, angry, depressed or even suicidal. However, no type of bullying should ever be tolerated. These tips can help you protect yourself online and deal with the growing problem of cyberbullying.
What is cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying occurs when a child or teen uses the Internet, emails, text messages, instant messaging, social media websites, online forums, chat rooms or other digital technology to harass, threaten or humiliate another child or teen. Cyberbullies come in all shapes and sizes. Almost anyone with an Internet connection or cellular phone can cyberbully someone else, often without having to reveal their true identity. Cyberbullies can torment their victims 24 hours a day and the bullying can follow the victim anywhere so that no place, not even home, ever feels safe, and with a few clicks, the humiliation can be witnessed by hundreds or even thousands of people online.
How cyberbullying harms people
The methods children and teens use to cyberbully can be as varied and imaginative as the technology they have access to. It ranges from sending threatening or taunting messages through email or text, to breaking into your email account or stealing your online identity to hurt and humiliate you.
Some cyberbullies may even create a website or social media page to target you.
Tips for children or teens dealing with cyberbullying
- Do not respond. If someone bullies you, remember that your reaction is usually exactly what the bully wants. It gives him or her power over you.
- Do not retaliate. Responding with similar threats reinforces the bully’s behaviour. Help avoid a whole cycle of aggression.
- Save the evidence. Online messages can usually be captured, saved and shown to someone who can help. Save evidence even if it is minor.
- Cyberbullying can escalate.
- Block the bully. Use preferences or privacy tools to block the person. If it happens while you are chatting, leave the “room.” Report any abusive comments to the social media website administrators.
- Reach out for help. Talk to a friend or a trusted adult who can help.
Tips for parents and teachers to stop cyberbullying
No matter how much pain it causes, children are often reluctant to tell parents or teachers about cyberbullying.
Spot the warning signs of cyberbullying
Your child may be the victim of cyberbullying if he or she –
- becomes sad, angry or distressed during or after using the Internet or a cellular phone.
- appears anxious when receiving a text, email or have been on social media websites.
- avoids discussions or is secretive about computer or cellular phone activities.
- withdraws from family, friends and activities they previously enjoyed.
- refuses to go to school or to specific classes, or avoids group activities.
- illustrate changes in mood, behaviour, sleep, appetite, or shows signs of depression or anxiety.
Prevent cyberbullying before it starts. Teach your children to –
- block communication with cyberbullies.
- never post or share their personal information online, including their full name(s), address(es), telephone number(s), the school’s name, parents’ names, credit card number(s), or their friends’ personal information.
- never share their Internet passwords with anyone, except you.
- talk to you about their life online.
- not put anything online that they would not want their classmates to see.
- not send messages when they are angry or upset.
- always be as polite online as they are in person.
Monitor your child’s technology use
Regardless of how much your child resents it, you can only protect him or her by monitoring what they do online.
Keep the computer in a busy area of your house so that you can easily monitor its use, rather than, for example, allowing your child to use a laptop or tablet in his or her bedroom.
Set up filters on your child’s computer. Tracking software can block inappropriate web content and help you check up on your child’s online activities.
Insist on knowing your child’s passwords and learn the common acronyms children use online and in text messages.
Encourage your child to tell you or another trusted adult if they receive threatening messages or are otherwise targeted by cyberbullies.
If your child is a cyberbully
If your child has responded to being cyberbullied by employing their own cyberbullying tactics, you can help your child find better ways to deal with the problem. If your child has trouble managing b emotions, such as anger, hurt or frustration, talk to a therapist about helping your child learn to cope with these feelings in a healthy way.
Tips for parents dealing with a cyberbully
- Educate your child about cyberbullying. Your child may not understand how hurtful or damaging their behaviour can be. Foster empathy and awareness by encouraging your child to look at their actions from the victim’s perspective. Remind your child that cyberbullying can have very serious legal consequences.
- Set limits with technology. Let your child know that you will be monitoring his or her use of computers, tablets, smartphones, email and text messaging. If necessary, remove access to technology until their behaviour improves.
- Establish consistent rules of behaviour. Make sure your child understands your rules and the punishment for breaking them. Children may not think they need discipline, but a lack of boundaries sends a signal that the child is unworthy of the parents’ time, care and attention.
Internet Safety:
The Internet and social websites are part of everyday life, but it could be dangerous and you should ensure your safety online. Children are especially susceptible to the threats that the Internet and social networking websites present. By teaching children about Internet safety, being aware of their online habits and guiding them to appropriate websites, parents can make sure that their children become safe and responsible users on social networking websites.
What are the dangers when using the Internet and social media websites?
False identities are easy to create. Making new friends online is easy and convenient, but it is different to doing it in person. You cannot see who is at the other end of the computer. The Internet makes it easy for someone to be anyone else in the world.
Not all information is private. Unfortunately, the information that is posted online is not always private. This means that anyone can view it. There are also online message boards that are indexed by the search engines. This means that others can view the conversations that were discussed, even years down the line.
Internet predators. Often, individuals who lie about their ages are Internet predators. They are the ones who target children. Unfortunately, many children, teenagers and their parents cannot tell who is an Internet predator until it is too late, such as when the predators try to approach your child or contact them in person.
- You should never ignore the following danger signs:
- If the person tries to insist on having your address or phone number
- If the person emails you pictures which make you feel uncomfortable and which you would not want to show to anyone else
- If the person wants to keep their chats with you secret
- If the person tells you that you will get into trouble if you tell an adult what has been going on
- If the person wants you to email them pictures of yourself or use a webcam in a way which makes you feel uncomfortable
- If the person shares information with you and tells you not to tell anyone else about it
- If the person wants to meet you in person and tells you not to let anyone know.
Internet safety tips for children
- Do not give out personal information, such as your address(es), telephone number(s), parents’ work address/telephone number(s) or the name and location of your school without your parents’ permission.
- Only accept followers you know. Do not let strangers follow you on social media websites or chat rooms, in the same way as you would not let a stranger follow you in real life.
- Tell your parents immediately if you come across any information that make you feel uncomfortable.
- Never agree to get together with someone you have “met” online without first checking with your parents. If your parents agree to the meeting, be sure that it is in a public place and bring a parent along.
- Never send a person your picture or anything else without first checking with your parents.
- Do not respond to any messages that are mean or make you feel uncomfortable in any way. Tell your parents immediately.
- Do not give your passwords to anyone other than your parents, even your best friends.
- Check with your parents before downloading or installing software or doing anything that could possibly jeopardize your family’s privacy.
- Be a good online citizen and do not do anything that hurts other people or is against the law.
Internet safety tips for parents
Every parent should be aware of some important Internet and social media safety tips that could protect their children from potential harm. The Internet can be a dangerous place and social media websites are no exception.
There are several things you, as a parent, can do to make sure your children can participate safely.
- Learn about the Internet and social media
- Knowledge is power. Stay informed of the latest Internet websites and social media that children make use of.
- Insist on knowing your child’s passwords and learn the common acronyms children use online and in text messages. See the list of common acronyms below.
- Get involved. Spend time online with your child, whether at home, at the library or at a computer centre in your community. Your involvement in your child’s life, including his or her online life, is the best insurance you can have for your child’s safety.
- Move your child’s computer into a family room or a frequently traveled room: In fact, your child should be able to use a shared family computer.
- This tends to limit the visiting of potential dangerous chat rooms and social networking websites, as most teens prefer to view these sites in private. If you must, limit your child’s use of the computer to certain times, such as when you are home or in the room.
- Talk to your child about the dangers of the Internet. Let them know that it is possible to meet Internet predators online, especially with the use of private chat rooms or social networking websites. Let them know that if they are harassed, whether it be by someone they know or do not know, they must contact you immediately. You may, in turn, want to contact the proper authorities.
- Obtain parental control tools from the following service providers:
- Your Internet Service Provider (ISP) The best place to start is with the company that provides you with a connection to the Internet.
- Your local computer store You can buy “blocking and filtering” software.
- Web browsers You can also use certain web browsers to enforce parental control systems.
Personal Safety:
- You have the right to say NO.
- No one has the right to force you into sexual activity, no matter what your relationship with this person is.
- This means no-one can force you to have sex, or to touch you in a sexual way without your consent, or force you to perform sexual activities you find unpleasant or humiliating.
- Be open with your parents, female schoolteacher or your friend if you came across or were made to, or asked to have sexual intercourse with a man without your consent.
- Never hitch-hike.
- Do not walk alone at night.
- Do not accept an offer from anybody.
- Remember it is not your fault if you are sexually assaulted.
- Do not allow anyone to touch you in a way that makes you uncomfortable.
- Be firm and clear and say NO! You have the right to do so.
- Do not leave a party or social event with someone you do not know or have just met.
- At social events, do not leave your cold drinks or drinks unattended.
- Ask friends to help you if you say NO!
Sexting:
What is sexting?
Sexting is the act of sending a picture/photograph of yourself naked or semi-naked, using electronic means. It also involves sending flirtatious or sexual messages to others, often using acronyms and abbreviations.
What are the dangers of sexting?
Sexting can have dangerous consequences. You should be aware that it is no longer a fun joke when the “sexted” images are shared among thousands of people, and it can ruin your future. Here are some of the dangerous consequences that you can suffer:
- Loss of control: Once an image, message or video has been shared, the sender has lost all control of where or how it will be distributed or used.
- Humiliation: The humiliation caused by having your explicit content circulated, can be devastating. In some tragic cases the level of despair and shame has led people to serious self-harm and even suicide.
- “Sextortion”: A combination of the words “sex” and “extortion”. Extortionists and blackmailers have always leveraged their knowledge of other’s indiscretions, or their possession of compromising images and communications. There is no shortage of “sextortionists” hoping to leverage their victim’s sexual content for their own financial, or sexual, benefit.
- Legal consequences: Sexually-explicit photographs, videos and communications, even when sent between minors under the age of 18, may be classified as child pornography, and the taker of the image, the recipient of the image and anyone who shares the content, may be charged and found guilty of crimes.
- Social consequences: These can include humiliation, bullying and cyberbullying.
- Physical consequences: Sexual content can increase the likelihood of becoming a victim of physical abuse. These images can end up on the Internet and in the hands of paedophiles.
What can I do to protect myself?
- Never share, copy or download the sexually explicit image in any way.
- If someone asks you to send a naked picture of yourself or to participate in sexting, ask them to stop or just do not reply at all. But if they are still bothering you or making you feel upset, block them.
- If an adult has been making you do things you feel uncomfortable with, such as asking you to share pictures of yourself online or by text, tell an adult you can trust about it.